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Couples quiz: how well do you know your partner? 20 questions to play together

A free couples quiz: 20 questions to find out how well your partner knows you, with a score, plus a 12-statement relationship check to take together.

Written by the Venna team Updated · 8 min read
  1. Take it Each of you answers on your own, or together where the quiz says so.
  2. Read your result What it means, what helps, and a question to ask.
  3. Talk about it Pick one small thing each to try this week.
On this page

You know which side of the bed they sleep on. But do you know their worst haircut, or what they’d buy first if they won the lottery? This couples quiz is a game for two: one of you asks the questions, the other answers, and you keep score. After that, a short 12-statement relationship check shows where the two of you are strongest right now: having fun, talking things through, or working as a team.

It’s just a game. It won’t tell you whether you’ll last, and it’s not a diagnosis.

How the couples quiz works

Part 1: “How well do you know me?” One of you reads the 20 questions out loud. The questions are about the person reading them. The other answers from memory, no phones. The reader decides if the answer is right: 1 point for a right answer, 0 for a wrong one. Close calls are the reader’s call too. Then switch roles and play again.

Part 2: a short relationship quiz. You each answer 12 statements on your own with “agree” or “disagree,” then compare.

Plan on about 20 minutes for both parts. You don’t need an app or a sign-up, just the questions and maybe some snacks.

Part 1: “How well do you know me?”

No multiple choice. Whoever’s asking decides what counts.

Warm-up

  1. What do I order at a drive-thru when I’m starving?
  2. Which pizza topping is a hard no for me?
  3. What’s my go-to movie theater snack?
  4. What song makes me turn up the volume in the car?
  5. What’s my favorite holiday of the year?

My habits

  1. What’s the first app I open in the morning?
  2. How many times do I hit snooze on a normal weekday?
  3. What’s the one thing in the fridge I’d be upset to find gone?
  4. What do I do when I can’t fall asleep?
  5. What do I want to eat after a bad day?

Growing up

  1. What was the first car I drove?
  2. Who was my celebrity crush in high school?
  3. What did I want to be when I grew up, back in elementary school?
  4. What’s the Halloween costume I’m still proud of?
  5. What was my first concert?

Inside my head

  1. If I won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing I’d buy?
  2. Which famous person, alive or dead, would I most want to have dinner with?
  3. If we had to move to another state, which one would I pick?
  4. What’s a skill I keep saying I’ll learn one day?
  5. What’s my favorite photo of us?

Your score

Add up the points, out of 20.

0 to 5 points: lots left to find out. It happens, especially early on or when work and bills eat up all your time. Nobody loses here. Go back to the ones you missed and ask, “Wait, why?”

6 to 10 points: you know the basics. Some answers landed, some didn’t. Pick one question you missed and give it ten minutes tonight.

11 to 15 points: you pay attention. You got more than half right. Look at which section cost you the most points, and start there next time you’re talking.

16 to 20 points: you two are hard to beat. Nice work. Watch out for answers you’re a little too sure about, though: tastes change, and the song from five years ago may not be the one anymore. To make the next round harder, each of you write five new questions about yourself.

Part 2: a short relationship quiz

Answer on your own, without looking at your partner’s answers. Each statement belongs to one theme: having fun (1, 4, 7, and 10), talking things through (2, 5, 8, and 11), or working as a team (3, 6, 9, and 12). “Agree” scores 1 point for its theme, except on statement 5, where “Disagree” scores the point. If you take the quiz on this page, it adds up the points for you.

  1. We laughed hard together at least once this week.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  2. I can bring up something that bugs me without bracing for a fight.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  3. When one of us has a rough week, the other picks up the slack without being asked.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  4. Most weeks, we do something together that we both enjoy.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  5. Most of what we talk about during the day is groceries, bills, and who’s doing what.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  6. We’ve talked about money in the past few months without it turning into a fight.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  7. We have a show, a game, or a place that feels like ours.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  8. After an argument, one of us usually comes back to it to make things right.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  9. We’ve talked about what we each want the next year to look like.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  10. If one of us suggested something new on a whim, the other would probably say yes.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  11. I know what my partner is stressed about right now.
    • Agree
    • Disagree
  12. Even when we disagree in front of friends or family, we feel like we’re on the same side.
    • Agree
    • Disagree

How to score it

Each theme is scored out of 4. The theme with the most points is where your answers were strongest; if two or three are tied, read each of those results. The theme with the fewest points is a good place to start. If you scored 0 or 1 everywhere, skip the results and pick one statement you’d like to talk about.

Having fun

What it means. Your answers say you still play together, whether that’s laughing, trying new things, or having a show or a place that feels like yours. It helps in the weeks when everything else feels like a to-do list.

If it’s your lowest score. Fun tends to slip when life gets busy. Try something neither of you has done before, even something small: a new hiking trail, a cooking class, a restaurant on the other side of town.

A question to ask your partner: “When was the last time we really laughed, just the two of us?”

Talking things through

What it means. Your answers say you can bring up the hard stuff and you don’t let a fight sit for long. You talk about more than groceries and schedules.

If it’s your lowest score. For a lot of couples, the conversation slowly turns into logistics. Set aside one evening a week when schedules are off-limits, and ask a question you don’t know the answer to.

A question to ask your partner: “What’s been on your mind lately that I might have missed?”

Working as a team

What it means. Your answers say you back each other up, whether that’s stepping in on a rough week, talking about money calmly, or knowing where you’re headed.

If it’s your lowest score. Look at which of these statements you disagreed with. If it’s money or plans, start small, with next summer’s trip or this month’s budget, and work up from there.

A question to ask your partner: “What’s one thing I could take off your plate this week?”

Take it together

In Part 1, switch roles after all 20 questions and compare scores. In Part 2, answer separately, then go through the statements one by one. The ones where you answered differently are the interesting ones: if one of you agrees with “I know what my partner is stressed about” and the other disagrees, that’s your conversation for the night. Want more? Try our 60 questions to ask your partner, or the compatibility test if you’d rather compare what you each want from life.

Why couples know each other less than they think

In a 2011 study, Benjamin Scheibehenne, Jutta Mata, and Peter Todd asked couples in Berlin to predict their partner’s taste in food, movies, and kitchen designs. Older couples, married for about 40 years on average, guessed a little worse than younger couples who had been together for a year or two, and they were more confident about it. One explanation the researchers gave: once you feel you know someone, you stop paying as much attention. The older couples were also more satisfied with their relationships. This game doesn’t measure how happy you are together.

The tip in the “fun” result comes from a 2000 paper by Arthur Aron and colleagues. In three lab experiments, couples who did a new and slightly exciting activity together for seven minutes rated their relationship higher afterward than couples who did a more ordinary one.

Talk it through with another couple

On Venna, you and your partner meet another couple for a guided, one-hour voice call. You pick a topic in the app, like communication or trust, and you’re matched with a couple who’s going through something similar or has already been through it. Nobody uses real names, and the session only happens if all four of you agree. The app asks the questions and makes sure each of you gets a turn. Couples share what they’ve been through instead of giving advice. Nothing is recorded unless all four of you choose a recorded session with an experienced couple, and no AI listens.

Venna isn’t therapy, and neither is this quiz. If it brings up something heavy, talk to a licensed therapist. For abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1⁠-⁠800⁠-⁠799⁠-⁠7233 or text START to 88788. If you’re in crisis or thinking about suicide, call or text 988. In an emergency, call 911.

Sources

Frequently asked questions

How do you play the “How well do you know me” quiz?

One of you reads the 20 questions out loud, and the questions are about the person reading. The other answers from memory, with no phones. The reader decides whether each answer is right, including close calls, and gives 1 point for each one. Then you switch roles and play again.

What’s a good score on the couples quiz?

Scores run from 0 to 20. Sixteen to 20 means you two are hard to beat, 11 to 15 means you pay attention, and 6 to 10 means you know the basics. Zero to 5 is common early on or when work and bills eat up your time, so go back to the questions you missed and ask why.

Do couples who’ve been together longer know each other better?

Not always. In a 2011 study, couples married about 40 years on average predicted their partner’s taste in food, movies, and kitchen designs a little worse than couples together a year or two, and they were more confident about it. They were also more satisfied with their relationships, so this game doesn’t measure how happy you are together.

Do I need an app to play this couples quiz?

No. You don’t need an app or a sign-up, just the questions and maybe some snacks. Plan on about 20 minutes for both parts.

What if we score low on fun?

Fun tends to slip when life gets busy. Try something neither of you has done before, even something small, like a new hiking trail or a cooking class. In three lab experiments from a 2000 paper by Arthur Aron and colleagues, couples who did a new and slightly exciting activity together for seven minutes rated their relationship higher afterward.

Can a couples quiz tell if our relationship will last?

No. It’s just a game, and it isn’t a diagnosis. The most useful part is comparing your Part 2 answers: the statements where you answered differently are the ones worth talking about.

Going through this?

On Venna, you talk it through by voice with a couple going through something similar, or who has been through it. One hour, no real names, and the app asks the questions.

How a session works
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