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Sexless marriage: why it happens and how to start talking
What counts as a sexless marriage, how common it is, why it happens, and what helps, including how to bring it up and what to do if your spouse won’t talk.
Intimacy · 8 min read- Couple story
Dead bedroom: one couple’s story from both sides
A dead bedroom, told by both partners: the one who wants more and the one who wants less. What research says about desire gaps, and how to start talking.
Intimacy · 8 min read - Explained
Couples therapy: what it is and how to find a good therapist
A plain guide to couples therapy: who does it, the main approaches, what research says about results, what it costs, and how to find a good therapist.
5 min read
Words people use
Short explanations of the terms you’ll hear.
- Dead bedroom
- Internet slang for a relationship where sex has mostly stopped, or feels like it’s gone.
- Sexless marriage
- There’s no official definition; “10 times a year or less” is a rule of thumb, not a medical term.
- Sexual desire discrepancy
- Researchers’ term for when one partner wants sex more or less than the other.
- Responsive desire
- Desire that shows up after you start being close, instead of before.
- Ask-and-refuse loop
- One partner reaches out, gets turned down, and stops asking, until nobody touches at all.
- Sex therapist
- A therapist for sexual problems; the AASECT directory lists certified ones by state.
All intimacy articles
- Explained
Sexless marriage: why it happens and how to start talking
What counts as a sexless marriage, how common it is, why it happens, and what helps, including how to bring it up and what to do if your spouse won’t talk.
Intimacy · 8 min read - Couple story
Dead bedroom: one couple’s story from both sides
A dead bedroom, told by both partners: the one who wants more and the one who wants less. What research says about desire gaps, and how to start talking.
Intimacy · 8 min read
Talk about it with a couple who’s been there
Pick “Intimacy” in the app. You’re matched with a couple going through something similar, or who has been through it.
- One hour, by voice
- The app asks the questions and gives each person a turn
- No real names, and only if all four agree