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Weaponized incompetence: what it is, signs, and what to do
What weaponized incompetence means in a relationship, common examples, how it differs from ADHD or a real gap in skills, and how to bring it up.
Mental load · 6 min read- Explained
Fair Play cards: what they are and how couples use them
What the Fair Play cards by Eve Rodsky are, how couples use the deck to split household tasks, what it can’t fix, and a simple way to try it at home.
Mental load · 7 min read - Explained
Mental load: what it is, examples, and how to share it
The mental load is the work of remembering, planning, and keeping track for a household. Examples, US numbers, signs it’s lopsided, and how to share it.
Mental load · 8 min read
Words people use
Short explanations of the terms you’ll hear.
- Weaponized incompetence
- Doing a task badly, or saying you can’t, so the other partner takes it over.
- Mental load
- The thinking behind the chores: noticing, remembering, and planning.
- Fair Play
- A deck of household tasks to split as whole jobs, based on Eve Rodsky’s 2019 book.
- Cognitive labor
- Sociologist Allison Daminger’s term: anticipating needs, identifying options, deciding, and monitoring.
- Keeping score
- Tallying in your head who did what, one of the signs the load is unbalanced.
- Invisible work
- Another name for the mental load: the list in your head that never shows up on a chore chart.
All mental load articles
- Explained
Weaponized incompetence: what it is, signs, and what to do
What weaponized incompetence means in a relationship, common examples, how it differs from ADHD or a real gap in skills, and how to bring it up.
Mental load · 6 min read - Explained
Fair Play cards: what they are and how couples use them
What the Fair Play cards by Eve Rodsky are, how couples use the deck to split household tasks, what it can’t fix, and a simple way to try it at home.
Mental load · 7 min read - Explained
Mental load: what it is, examples, and how to share it
The mental load is the work of remembering, planning, and keeping track for a household. Examples, US numbers, signs it’s lopsided, and how to share it.
Mental load · 8 min read
Talk about it with a couple who’s been there
Pick “Mental load” in the app. You’re matched with a couple going through something similar, or who has been through it.
- One hour, by voice
- The app asks the questions and gives each person a turn
- No real names, and only if all four agree